The Lady, or the Tiger?
by Ransomed Heart
Summary: If you had to choose, what choice would you make? Could you send your love to happiness, or would you sentence him to death? [oneshot]


This is a parody of the wonderful short story "The Lady, or the Tiger?" by Frank R. Stockton, so I claim no rights to being the owner of the idea. However, the plot is mine. The characters aren't mine either, I'm afraid. 

This one goes out to Chris, who listened to me complain and gave me good advice when no one else could (and for pretending that we never had the conversation because I didn't want anyone else to know) You're a true friend Chris, and I'm proud to be your science buddy.

**A/N Added 3/12/05-** Wow, has this booger been sitting in my computer for a while! I guess I'll post it now, lol.

**The Lady, or the Tiger? by Ransomed Heart**

In a land far away many, many years ago, so long ago that even the deepest annals of history failed to record its existence, there existed a rather large society of people. Perhaps society is not the best world, for that would imply to the reader that there was a sense of civility among these people, which there was not. Instead, a better word to describe these people would be a tribe.

Now, by saying there was no civility I do not mean that there were no laws or customs which these people followed, because there were. There was, in fact, a very distinct social order that governed their very way of life, much like in the feudal times in Europe. There were servants and peasants and a middle class. There was also a king, and it is upon this royal family which my story shall focus.

The king of this tribe considered himself to be a fair and just man, as far as ancient justice was concerned. These people were far from neanderthalic, the reader must understand. However, they still had the thirst for blood and the primal love of violence found buried deep within the hearts of every modern man. And it was this lust for brutality that led the ruler of this tribe to develop his unique system of justice.

So, if a crime was considered to be of large enough proportions to concern the king's person, he had devised a very quick and fitting way of disposing of the perpetrator. Not that there was much crime, but the justice system may have played a large part in that as well.

What was this method, the reader may ask. How could a criminal be dealt with so swiftly and efficiently that crime became a rarity?

In the center of the town, if the reader would excuse my calling it that for lack of a better word, there was an arena, perhaps the largest of it's time. It was big enough for the entire population of the tribe to fit, with room to spare in case of population growth. The center of the area was bordered by walls higher than three men put together in order to ensure the safety of the observers. On one end of this area was a high paraphet on which the king and his most trusted advisors would sit and watch the proceedings.

It was, however, the other end of the arena that was of the most interest to the crowds. For across the dirt-packed floor of the arena two identical doors could be found. To the first time viewer and, no doubt, to the reader, these doors would have no special significance other than the fact that they seemed almost out of place in the vast space.

But to the accused, the doors were the line between life and death.

The simplicity of the king's arena could not be denied. Two doors and pure simple luck were all that stood between life and death.

You see, the accused was brought out through yet another door directly under the parapet. He would bow to the king and proceed towards the ominous doors on the other end of the arena. He was free to choose whichever door he pleased, but he must open it and face whatever was on the other side.

In this way was the criminal's guilt or innocence determined. If he opened one door, out would leap the most ferocious tiger that could be procured, starved for days to make certain of its hunger and bloodlust. Instant and irrevocable punishment for the crime. If the man was fortunate enough to avoid the door which held the tiger, he would find himself face-to-face with the most beautiful woman of his social status and age as could be procured. They would be married on the spot with an extravagant celebration to follow. The man's marital status had little meaning in the king's arena, for even if the man was already wed with children, if the lady was picked they were married. Instant reward for innocence.

This, as the reader has no doubt realized, was hardly a fair trial. A man's guilt or innocence seems too large of a matter to be left up to pure chance. But that was the law which all citizens of this tribe abided by.

Now the king of this tribe had a daughter, Ci Ci, and her personality was as fiery and determined as her father, if not more so. She was hailed as a beauty among the people, men and women alike, and there was much ado as to who would win her hand. She would have no man, a carried herself as though her person was above such things as love.

This changed when a group of travelers arrived one day to the village. They had come upon it by pure chance, the same force that controls much of this tale.

There was nothing particularly unique about these travelers, except for the fact that no outsider had dared to enter the territory of this particular tribe for some time. For this reason the group was brought before the king to assess the nature of their arrival.

And of course, as the reader had already assumed, the princess was present at this interview. She sat on the left of her father and scrutinized the visitors through dark eyes. First was a blond boy, he seemed to be the odd one of the group, always laughing and joking in such a way that even the presence of the king did little to curb his attitude of happiness. Next came a pretty girl with pink hair. She was quiet, but curious and her eyes were continually searching the room around her. Beside her with a protective hand on her arm was another blond boy, this one with glasses. He too was observing the room, but with less curiosity and more of a scientist's gaze.

But it was on the final traveler that the princess's gaze came to rest. He seemed to be more brooding than the other three, and was analyzing her just as closely as she him. His eyes were dark, and his hair a medium brown.

It was the barbaric equivalent of love at first sight. Now the reader may suggest that such emotions could not exist for one filled with bloodlust and ferocity, but nonetheless, the sight of this mere boy aroused deep feeling within the heart of Ci Ci.

The king granted them safety within the tribe for as long as they needed it, and they began a life in the barbaric village.

The princess made a habit of observing the brown-haired boy, whose name, she learned, was Ulrich. He was quiet, introspective, and utterly fascinating to the uncultured princess.

Unfortunately, this careful inspection of his everyday life also led the princess to the stunning realization that her handsome foreigner had another love interest.

A popular maiden in the village was Yu Mi. She was loved by many men, but, like Ci Ci, her interests fell upon the boy called Ulrich. However, unlike Ci Ci, the feelings were accepted and even returned. This angered the barbaric princess beyond human conception, and she immediately set out to defeat this interloper that stood between herself and love.

This in itself proved fatal however, for the more she attempted to put herself between Ulrich and Yu Mi, the more the boy began to reject her. And then one day, while Ulrich and Yu Mi were walking through the village, Ci Ci lost control and attempted to attack Yu Mi.

Ulrich had jumped to defend the village maid, turning on Ci Ci. He had screamed in his native tongue at her, a strange language to her ears, but the intent was clear. Burning with betrayal, rage, and rejection, Ci Ci fled to her father.

Before sundown, Ulrich had been captured by the guards and brought before the barbaric king. After a short, shouting conversation, it was decided that the foreigner should meet his fate in the king's area. Ci Ci had waited outside the door, darting out of the way only when Ulrich was escorted out by the guards, and listening yet again as a day was decided for her love to meet his fate.

The day came swiftly, and Ci Ci took up her position at the right hand of her father, hands gripping the parapet before her to stop the shaking that had taken over her body. She watched through dark-rimmed eyes that had not seen sleep in days as the crowd began to fill in.

Under normal circumstances this position would not have bothered her. But Ci Ci, using all of her feminine wiles and powerful postion as a princess, had come upon the information that none other here possessed. She knew from which door would come the lady, and from which would come the tiger. Not only did she know that, but she knew who the lady was.

That very night that Ulrich had been imprisoned to await his judgment, Yu Mi had come to the house of the king, begging an audience with him. Upon admittance she had fallen at the king's feet, pleading with all of her barbaric ways to be the woman behind the door. The king had agreed, on one condition. In a twist of barbaric humor, he forced the village maid to share Ulrich's fate, whatever it would be. Should he open the door containing her, they would be wed as according to the custom. but should be choose the tiger, Yu Mi would be brought out into the area to join him in death.

And Ci Ci knew that she had to chose.

Ulrich was released from the door under the place where the king and Ci Ci sat. He bowed cordially to the backwards ruler, but kept his dark eyes locked on the barbaric princess, as she had known he would.

Quickly, while all eyes were locked on the handsome foreigner, Ci Ci made a sharp gesture to the right. It was so swift that none but he saw it. His bow complete, Ulrich turned and walked confidently towards the door on the right.

Taking a deep breath, the boy reached and turned the handle, closing his eyes before he met his fate.

Now the question, my dear readers, is this. Which emerged form the door on the right, the lady or the tiger. Consider carefully, and know that the more it is examined, the more perplexing the answer becomes. The human heart is a complex and conflicting thing, and is often most unpredictable.

How many nights had Ci Ci laid awake, tossing and turning at the thought of Yu Mi's victory as Ulrich opened her door, at his jubilant face as he beheld his one true love, and knowing that he would never look at her that way? At how Yu Mi would smile at her, or look at her smugly in celebration of her ultimate victory? Surely it would be better to send Ulrich on to the barbaric afterlife at the hands of the beast!

But the fangs and the blood and the screams, no!

The princess made her decision after sleepless nights and days spent crying over her love's fate. And I, as nothing more than the author, will not presume to answer the question of what came out of the door. And so, my beloved readers, I leave it to you to answer.

What came out of the door on the right, the lady, or the tiger?


End file.
